Dirty Mind
by LoveToTheCucumber
Summary: "Iruka had not been around Naruto for so long that he had completely forgotten that you had to cut it out in cardboard if you did not want any nasty misunderstandings." Unfortunately, he didn't remember that until it was too late. *Oneshot*


**Dirty Mind**

"Hey, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto shouted as he ran up beside his sensei who was walking with a big paper bag of groceries in his arms.

"Hey Naruto-kun, haven't seen you in a while. How's your training with Jiraiya-sama coming along?" Iruka beamed his former student a wide smile and slowed down so Naruto would not have to practically run in order to keep up with him.

Naruto was very excited about seeing his old sensei again and had lots of stuff to tell him. He kept on going for nearly 10 minutes straight. Iruka was thankful when Naruto's flow of talk finally ended, he was starting to suspect that his ears would fall off if he had to listen to that high-pitched and piercing voice of Naruto's for much longer. It was not that he was not happy to see Naruto again - he was - he just was not used to Naruto's never ending speeches anymore.

"So, what are you up to now, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, the enormous smile never leaving his face.

"Not much, Naruto-kun, I'm just on my way home. Kakashi-chan is waiting for me, he's probably starving." The boy's brow raised gradually at his sensei as the last sentence was spoken.

"What's he doing at your place?" Naruto did not remember ever seeing either of his former teachers speaking together. But what puzzled him the most, was that Iruka was using -chan with Kakashi. What had he missed while being on the road with Pervy Sage?

"Oh, that's right. I haven't told you yet," Iruka chuckled down at his perplexed friend. "I gave Kakashi a place to stay after he was kicked out of his old home. I just couldn't say no to him once he gave me that sad look of his." Did Kakashi-sensei really have a certain way of looking when being sad? Naruto could not recall ever seeing a face like that from his teacher. In fact, he could not even imagine his sensei looking like that.

The way Iruka spoke about Kakashi just did not fit the picture Naruto had of Kakashi. Why was he even kicked out of his home? Had he forgotten to pay rent? It would not really surprise Naruto since Kakashi had always been a cheap bastard.

Iruka continued merrily, "Kakashi-chan is a handful, but he has been very helpful in the garden lately. Yesterday I had to tie him to a pole because he was too rough on the crows. I hate those garden-ruining creatures, but they are still just animals and Kakashi was close to ripping off the head of one of them so I figured that there was no way around it." Naruto pictured Kakashi-sensei being tied to a pole like he himself had been it back when he had just graduated from the academy. He could not help but laugh at the thought of it. Kakashi-sensei deserved to try being tied to a pole.

"So you two have become good friends?" the yellow haired boy asked, looking up at the laughing brunette.

"I'm not sure that _friends_ are the right way to describe our relationship. He's always running around inside the house, knocking things over and such. Everyday I come home to find yet another broken object. And he chews on everything. Especially my hair elastics. I don't know why he suddenly started doing that because I don't remember him having any weird fetishes like that before he moved in with me." Naruto cocked his head and sent Iruka a weird look, but Iruka did not look at him, he was too busy smiling with closed eyes.

Naruto had never seen his silver haired sensei chewing on anything, but bad habits seemed like something that easily stuck to him. Kakashi-sensei was always late and he never went anywhere without those dirty books he got from Jiraiya-sama. He even read them in public.

"But I guess he's not all bad news. When I was on my way to bed last night, after scolding at him for breaking my favorite tea set, I found him all curled up in the middle of my bed and I could not find it in myself to ask that cute face to go sleep in his own bed. I've always been against him lying in mine since it's very insanitary, but I must admit that it's kind of nice to sleep beside him and he keeps me warm at night." Naruto immediately blushed and looked away from Iruka after hearing his sensei saying something like that. He and Kakashi-sensei were sleeping in the same bed?! And he thought that Kakashi-sensei was _cute? _Naruto had never thought that he would ever hear someone calling Kakashi-sensei cute. Especially not Iruka. What was really happening between those two? Where they more than friends? But why would Iruka just blurt it out like that?!

"B-but, Iruka-sensei, does Grandma Tsunade approve of this?" Naruto stammered, pinching his own arm to make sure that he was actually awake. He could soon conclude that this definitely was not a dream.

"Why shouldn't she? She knows how much I love that white fur-ball and as long as he doesn't prevent me from doing my job properly, I don't think she sees anything wrong with it," Iruka answered and walked on like it was not a big deal.

Naruto's jaw had dropped. He could not believe what Iruka was telling him. Did Iruka, the only man he really considered family, love Kakashi-sensei?! "B-b-but d-do you k-k-kiss and s-stuff?" Naruto was starting to sound like Hinata.

"Don't even ask. Kakashi-chan always licks me all over my face and I hate it, but you can't really expect someone like him to understand that, I guess. It's the thought that counts, after all." Naruto's eyes widened and his body started shaking in disgust over the mental image Iruka had given him. "Hey, Naruto-kun, why don't you come with me home and I'll make some ramen for us. I want you to hear this weird, satisfied sound that Kakashi-chan makes whenever I rub him on his belly. Oh, and we could all go swimming afterward, how does that sound?" Iruka sounded very excited. In fact, Naruto had never heard Iruka speaking so excitedly about anything before in his entire life. He usually let Naruto do the talking.

"I-I don't think I-I ca-" Iruka cut him off.

"By the way, I'll need your help with putting this collar on him. I noticed this morning that he was not wearing the first one I bought him after sleeping with him. If you hold him, I'll put it on. We can't risk you getting bitten." Iruka exhaled heavily, "He knows what the collar means. Leash and walking, two things Kakashi-chan is definitely not fond of. He hates being dominated." Naruto felt his breakfast moving its way up from his stomach and towards his mouth. He could not stand hearing anymore of this. It was just too much information.

When imagining Kakashi, all Naruto could see was a masked man with a spiky collar around his neck, drinking water with his tongue from a bowl on the floor and Iruka standing behind him with a short leash in one hand and a leather whip in the other.

He spun around on his heels and was about to make his escape, but when he took a step forward, without watching where he was going, he bumped into a hard chest that was blocking his way and fell to the ground on his bottom. The genin looked up and saw a familiar relaxed jounin that was standing with his left hand in his pocket and his Icha Icha book in the right. He offered Naruto his famous eye-smile as an apology. "Welcome back, Naruto-kun," Kakashi greeted happily.

Naruto got up onto his feet again quickly and looked from one sensei to the other. They were greeting each other with a smile. Naruto could not see anyway around it. He had to do it.

"Sexy no Jutsu!" he shouted and formed his hand seal, instantly turning into a rather attractive and naked woman. Again, he looked shiftily from Iruka to Kakashi. The jutsu did not seem to be affecting neither of them.

Iruka was just about to tell Naruto that he was not going to fall for that old trick anymore, but Naruto had already jumped onto Kakashi with his feet on Kakashi's thighs and he was now pulling at Kakashi's flak jacket violently.

"What have you done to Iruka-sensei, you sick pervert! That used to work on him! You are an even bigger pervert than Pervy Sage!" he screamed angrily.

Kakashi blinked his eye a couple of times in surprise. "What are you talking about, Naru-" Naruto interrupted him when Kakashi had touched him while speaking.

"Don't touch me!" he jumped off Kakashi and started dancing around on the spot, anxiously brushing off his body as if he had a spider or something underneath his clothes.

"What did I do?" Kakashi asked confusedly, but when he tried to touch Naruto again to calm him down, he jumped out of the way.

"Leave me alone, you've ruined Iruka-sensei! I'm gonna complain to the hokage!" Before any of the older men could do anything, Naruto had already taken off.

Kakashi was perplexed and did not know if he should follow the boy or not. He looked at Iruka who stood scratching his scar. The chuunin was blushing like a young pre-genin.

"What just happened?" Kakashi asked, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow. Iruka started chuckling nervously and scratched his scar even harder.

"Uhm... Well... I think I figured out why Naruto-kun flipped out like that. I-I guess I forgot to tell him that Kakashi-chan is a dog." Kakashi did not understand how that could have anything to do with him being a pervert.

"Should we go after him?" Kakashi asked.

"Probably... Unless you want him to start a dirty rumor about you... well... us, actually." Iruka jumped after Naruto quickly so Kakashi would not get the chance to ask further into the situation. This was embarrassing enough already.

Iruka had not been around Naruto for so long that he had completely forgotten that you had to cut it out in cardboard if you did not want any nasty misunderstandings. He should definitely have thought twice about naming his dog _Kakashi_ even if it did know how to handle crows.

**oOooOooOo**

**I haven't really written anything within the humor genre for a while so I thought I would try it out again. The idea for this one shot actually came when I was talking to Kurosuisen about how I sometimes say things that sounds a little funny to her when I'm talking about my dog (Its name is Sasuke, you figure out the rest yourself xD!) **

**By the way! Kurosuisen just published her first story in here so would you guys who are reading this please go and check out her story to be supportive^^? I think the story is off for a great start!**

**I hope you enjoyed the short story!**


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